Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
