So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
