I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
