I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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