i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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