i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
