Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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