Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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