I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize