i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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