We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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