guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize