Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize