ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
