If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
