I accidentally had phone sex last night
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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