I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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