I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
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