We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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