Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
