I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
