and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
