you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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