too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
