He asked me if I "almost moaned"
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
