but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
