You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
