i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
