Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
