why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
