Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
