oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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