TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I need moral support for this bender
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize