She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
