Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
