Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize