I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
