I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
