i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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