so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
