but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
