the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
