Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
