You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
