Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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