I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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