I love black thongs
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
