so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
