Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
