I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
