I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
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