On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
