You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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