and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
