dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
