i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Be still, my beating vagina.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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