im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
