i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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