You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
