I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
