dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
