in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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